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June 16, 1939 – May 6, 2009 |
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– May 6, 2009 • 7:07 am – She is with God. I love you Rosie.
– May 6, 2009 • 4:30 am update – I decided to add this for accuracy. She looked comfortable and peaceful. No movement except for her breathing. I gave her the usual dose of morphine, kissed her and told her that I loved her.
– May 6, 2009 • 12:40 am – It's been a long and somewhat uneventful day. I guess one could say "expect the unexpected" and that surely is happening. It's been stressful just waiting for the time to arrive. She's stubborn and apparently is going to defy any logical reasoning. Right now she is gurgling which means her lungs are building up with fluid. She hasn't moved any part of her body since May 4. Thanks to everyone for the emails. I'm sorry if I haven't replied. Been kind of busy. I have an awesome support team from Lifetouch, the whole Canaday clan, the people at CR where she used to work, and all our friends and neighbors. Many thanks to all of you. It's probably not well known about what kind of arraignments are going to be made after the final day. Well, here it is. Rosie and I both agreed to cremation. The first one to go will have the company of Molly, our 17 year old mut. We are going to have a simple memorial. We ask that anyone wishing to attend not go to the trouble of long distance flights or by automobile. Chris, her son, probably won't attend the memorial. There will be no funeral, just a memorial which will be held in Grant City Missouri. Burial will be at Knox Cemetary in Gentry County about 100 miles north of Kansas City. The date and time of the memorial has not yet been planned (another advantage of cremation, flexibility). I need to go. I'm falling asleep at the computer. I wonder what this night will bring?
– May 5, 2009 • 2:30 pm – At 5 am this morning it look pretty bleak. She is unconscious and her breathing had changed and she was frothing from the mouth. I called hospice and when they arrived I was told she had minutes, probably less than 2 hours. Her vitals were rapidly going downhill. Then, all of a sudden, she stabilized. Her organs are breaking down and her heart keeps chuggin' away. This woman is going out on her own terms, not someone else's. Or, maybe she's stopping for a rest and to take care of some unfinished business. If living is hard, try dying. It's excruciatingly slow. I just received some emails from my friends from ASG. Thank you so much for your thoughts. This is getting harder and harder by the minute. I'll let you know when she has taken that final step.
– May 4, 2009 Update – Eric, Marlene, Rose, Glenda Carr, Sue Tally, Sherilyn Whitt, CJ and her husband Todd (I hope I got that right) visited today. Rosie appears to be resting comfortably. Her ex-husband John just arrived from Florida but Rosie seems to be somewhere else. She's not very responsive without extensive coaxing. I have to give her morphine every 4 hours to control any pain she may have. John will be back tomorrow to give it another try. I just noticed her breathing has change from the chest to her stomach. That is another sign the process has started. I have to say that I probably won't remember every one to call when she is hand in hand with God. I will enter a post of just a couple of words which will indicate she has past to the other side.
– May 4, 2009 Revised – This was not a good day. We had a few visitiors. Chris Charles and Glenda Hill stopped to say hello and they know what Rosie's condition was. Let me explain. I didn't think she would make it through the night. Her stomach had enlarged big time. I had a hospital bed delivered earlier in the day and was going to move her downstairs. I call hospice and wanted to arrange for a nurse to look at her and assess her condition before we moved her. I had a problem with hospice but I won't go into that. Anyway, a nurse and chaplain arrived at 7:30 pm and I was told to leave the room. Well, the reason her stomach grew so large was because her brain was not communicating with the rest of her system to tell her she needed to urinate. It was backing up inside her. The nurse inserted a catheter and the process began. A normal human bladder contains about 800-900 milliliters of fluid. Rosie had about 2000 (nurse informed me that it was almost 3000) milliliters. The nurse said she had never seen so much. It's a wonder her bladder didn't burst like a balloon. After she was drained, her stomach was back to normal size. We had the hospital bed moved from downstairs to the dining room. At this point I was still not in the room because the nurse and Chris (her son) were beginning to move her from the couch to the bed. Rosie was not a happy camper. It looks like I will have a little more time with her. She looks much better than earlier in the day. I can't imagine how she was feeling inside. All the signs are there that the process has begun. Her ex-husband John is flying in from Florida today. He wanted to hold her hand just one more time. I don't have a problem with that. John and I have been friends ever since I met him. He's a good man. As for Chris, her son, it's hard to say. I can't imaging what he's feeling. However, he's been my rock. He's more focused about what's going on and I'm thinking of 10,000 things at once. I can't get my mind to slow down. As a matter of fact, I can't sit down. I constantly need to be doing something. How am I doing? Well, in my mind okay. You really need to ask someone who's here. I don't know how I feel. I just know how I feel about Rosie. Rosie has the unique opportunity to say goodbye to her friends and family. Not everyone who is dying gets to do that. She has just a few more folks like John and her friends from where she worked seasonally here in Kansas City, to say goodbye. I have a feeling that when that's done, the process will hasten. That's what I believe but I don't know. I understand that the process she's going through can take a while and then again it could take hours. I just wish it would get over with. I feel helpless. I don't know if she's in pain. I give her morphine every 4 hours. I can't sit here and watch how she breaths. It hurts me not knowing what's going on inside her mind and body. Oh sure, I've been told what is going on in her body but what about her mind? No one can possibly know that. I will be by her side no matter what. She has been and still is my friend, my lover, my wife. Rosie, I love you.
– May 3, 2009 – Well, she made it through the night. I'm sure she wants to see family and friends before she goes. Right now I truly believe that she and God are in control of when it's going to happen. Today will be a busy day with her sisters and brothers visiting along with friends from work. Really a strange night. She's on the couch in the living room and I slept on the floor. I woke up at 2:30 am and looked over to the couch and she was gone. I thought to myself, she's gone, clothes and all. It took a few seconds to get my wits about me and notice just to the left of the couch a large green shape. It was Rosie. Somehow she had fallen off the couch. She had no idea what happened. Anyway, she was alert and I got her back on the couch. We started talking and I ask her about one of the nieces crying when she talked to her. I ask her did she know why she was crying. She replied "yes, I was dying". I then told Rose what the nurse had said about having hours or days to live. Rosie already knew that. It's amazing. I seem to be much more at peace with this and Rosie was glad of that. Even though she's on the couch and may appear to be sleeping or in a trance, she knows everything that's going on and everything that's being said. The woman is amazing. I will keep updating when possible.
– May 2, 2009 Update – Last night Rosie was piss an vinegar. Today is a different story. Chris and I didn't know what was happening, so I called hospice. I have to be stronger than ever now. She is down to hours or days. This is what the hospice people said. When she was hospitalized, she ate and drank whenever there was food. Apparently there was a reason for that. She wanted to get home. She used all her energy to focus on doing what she needed so she could be home to live her last hours or days. The nurse said there was a survey taken on where folks wanted to die. When ask a nursing home no one raised their hands. When ask in a hospital, very few raised their hands. When ask at home the majority of the people raised their hands. The nurse also pointed out the signs that the end is close. Rosie is showing those signs. I will post more if and when anything happens. I LOVE YOU ROSIE!!!!!
– May 2, 2009 – Rosie came home Friday. She was in good spirits and actually moved around a little. Chris arrived around 2 pm. She didn't really want to talk on the phone last night. She just wanted to rest. Hospice was here and they are awesome. She has everything she needs from drugs to massages. I had a conversation with the doctor and I gave him my perspective as to how long Rosie has left. I told him it appeared to me, her condition worsening each day, that she may have about two weeks left. He said that I was correct (not something I really wanted to hear but I have now accepted the reality that she isn't going to be here much longer). I also told him that I think she wants to be home to see friends and family and after that she will let go. The doctor said that was a fair assumption. I have taken leave from work to be with her these last couple of weeks. In my heart I wish this was over. It hurts me so much to see her in this kind of pain. I will try and update this page on a daily basis.
– April 30, 2009 – Rosie is still in the hospital. Her pain level has increased so they are trying a different regimen of drugs. Hopefully, if it works, she should be home friday. If the pain persists or gets worse, I really feel she may have only a couple of weeks left. We talked tonight and I apologized to her for my being selfish. I wanted her to hang on, have her eat and drink more and I never considered how she was feeling. I understand now. Don't live for me honey. Do what you feel you need to do. She is tired of fighting the pain. I fully understand it and I will support her until the end. I'll be there when she needs me and I'll do anything to make her comfortable. I love her with 99% of my heart (there is a crack in it and I hope eventually it will heal). I would take her place if I could. How she ever decided to stay with me I'll never know. 27 years ago I looked like I was dragged out of a garbage can. It's really strange how life works. I wish I could do it again but add 20 more years. Chris has decided to fly down tomorrow. The 3 of us need to discuss what to do in the event Rosie needs better care. Maybe she won't need it if the pain can be kept manageable. The hospice people will help us with that. They will aslo inform me of the signs that indicate the time is close. I plan to spell out what kind of arrangements are going to be made for that final day. I will post that information sometime in the next few days. I told Rosie that the last words I wanted her to hear before she leaves is "I love you". She said no matter what, she would hear that.
– April 29, 2009 – Hospice visited us at the hospital and we are signing up for that. She is getting shots in her stomach to thin the blood to help it not clot. She'll probably come home Thursday and then it's just a matter of time. Rosie feels it will be less than 30 days. She doesn't look good at all. My best guess for weight is around 80 pounds. I will update more later. I will do everything in my power to make her last days comfortable and painless. God I'll miss her.
April 28, 2009 – Happy birthday Mills. Now for the bad news. Rosie was admitted to the hospital again on the 27th. Rosie is not going to make it. Chemo and radiation treatments will not resume. The cancer has spread and it can't be stopped. Doctor's best guess is less than 100 days. Rosie feels it will be quicker than that. At this time the doctor is looking into pain management and making her last days a little easier to handle. Rosie and I are discussing what steps to take from here. I wish I could post more but right now I just can't get my fingers to type. I'm sorry.
– April 26, 2009 – I'm sorry for the delay in posts. Rosie wanted her input but she's never in the mood. The spot on her spine is the #1 vertebra. That vertebra is soft due to the cancer and it's pressing down on nerves. The radiation should help and the doctor said they could inject cement into the spine replacing the cancer to make the vertebra stonger. No set time for this procedure until the radiation treatments are done. She is still in pain but not so bad today. For the past week she hasn't been eating or drinking much of anything. I get on her case but she gets annoyed at me. Her default answer to everything is "I know". This morning she had an accident and I wanted to get her into the shower. She stood up with the walker and just stared at nothing. I'm not sure what's going on. It appears she's in some kind of trance. Sometimes her speach is real slow and I can't understand a thing she's saying. She said she knows she's doing it but had no reason why. I finally managed to get her into the bathroom and everything went well from there. I am doing my best to keep her comfortable and address any of her needs but I feel it isn't getting anywhere. I remind her she needs to eat and drink but she gets upset whenever I mention it. The amount of food and drink in the past week wouldn't even keep a bird alive. All she does is lay on the couch 24/7 and does absolutely nothing for herself. I just want her to eat and drink. That isn't much to ask, is it? It's frustrating.
– April 18, 2009 – Well, I don't know where to start. So much has gone on and it's getting pretty stressful. When Rosie went into the hospital, I got a call from the thyroid doctor's office. They reviewed the thyroid biopsy and wanted to schedule surgery. They also said what kind of cancer she had. It took days to tell us when we already knew several days before. Doesn't anyone communicate? We knew this when we had the appointment with the thyroid doctor. He said it wasn't a concern, so I told the lady to go back and talk to the doctor and get the story straight and to call me back. Well, they called back and still wanted to schedule a date for surgery. That's not going to happen. She can't and won't undergo the surgery because things have become more complicated. She finally got out of the hospital on April 17th. She had a pretty rough time. Her hemoglobin was at 7 and should be over 10 and her blood pressure dropped to something like 62/40. Thursday night she received 2 units of blood. He cancer apparently has mutated and needs treatment. The spots on her liver are now getting bigger and she has more spots on her spine. That accounts for the back pain she's been having. She is now undergoing 10 radiation treatments on her spine. If Rosie needs more chemo I think she will refuse it. She's having a hard time walking. Betty brought over a walker which does help but earlier I was outside and when I came in she was almost on the floor. It's apparent that she will need assistance while I'm at work. She feels it's the radiation treatments she's having on her lower spine that's causing this.
– April 14, 2009 – A lot has happened the past day. Rosie should be out of the hospital on Wednesday. When she returns home, we will discuss and decide what to post here in the next couple of days. I don't want to post the wrong information, so that's the reason for the delay.
– April 13, 2009 – Admitted Rosie to the hospital today. She's having back and stomach pain and throwing up. Her temperature is over 102 and the doctor needs to find out what's going on. She'll probably be in for a couple of days undergoing numerous tests. I'll post any results as soon as I find out. She did have result from her MRI but I need to find out exactly what they were before I post it here. No date for thyroid surgery. The doctor wants to get her current condition under control before she has the surgery. He said there's no immediate concern that the thyroid is a big issue.
– April 3, 2009 – Rosie went in for her MRI today. Hopefully the back pain issue will be resolved. She has an appointment for her thyroid on Wednesday.
– March 31, 2009 – We have the results of the thyroid biopsy. Rosie now has a rare cancer called Hürthle Cell Neoplasm. There is no known cure or treatment other than surgery. Once the thyroid has been removed, there are no follow up treatments. The surgery will only require an overnight stay in the hospital. I'll post surgery date once we find out.
– March 17, 2009 – The cancer center just called. Rosie's cancer marker is at 31 which is within normal range. That's great news. I would assume that she will have to undergo routine blood tests to see if there are any changes. We'll know more about what steps are next when she has her appointment on the 30th. Today is probably the best she's felt for quite some time. No aches or pains.
– March 12, 2009 – Rosie had a regular doctor's appointment last week and while feeling her throat he noticed her thyroid didn't feel normal. He wanted her to have an ultrasound done. On Monday she had her ultrasound and got a call from the doctor later in the day. She called me at work crying and said the test showed nodules. I immediately came home and called the cancer center. They had not yet received the results from the doctor but would check with them and call us back. They were not very happy with the way we were told about this. Apparently, her regular doctor was paranoid because he originally missed her initial cancer. The cancer center said there's no immediate concern about her thyroid and it's not unusual for thyroids to have nodules.
– March 8, 2009 – Rosie had, what we hope, was her last chemo treatment on Tuesday. The past few days haven't been so good and we think it was because she had a touch of the flu the week before. She was given an antibiotic and that could have triggered the aftereffects of the chemco quicker than usual. She had fluids on Thursday and was taken off the antibiotic. More fluids were administered on Friday and she is getting much better. She will have a CA test in the next couple of weeks and we should know then what will happen from there.
– February 20, 2009 – We just received the results from Rosie's last CA-125 test. It has now dropped to 55 (normal is 0-35). That's great news. We're guessing she will need one more treatment but we don't know until March 4th which is her next scheduled treatment. She is doing great and eating everything in sight.
– February 15, 2009 – The fluids Rosie received for 2 days after her 6th chemo seemed to do the job. No nausea and she's still eating. Her CA-125 went to 98, which is great. She easily gets tired and her sleeping schedule is really out of whack. Today I dragged her off to the casino at 5:30 in the morning. We both were winning but she started getting tired. I was on a winning streak when she told me she wanted to leave. I said okay and kept playing. My bad. Next time she says it's time to go, we go. This coming Tuesday she has another blood test. We expect the CA-125 to go down even more.
– February 5, 2009 –
Rosie had her 6th chemo treatment on the 3rd. Prior to treatment, we had a talk with the doctor. He gave us some news which shocked us. In the beginning, he gave Rosie 3-6 months. He told us on the 3rd that she actually had about 30 days. Say what? 30 days? He explained that he was hesitant to tell us the truth because most people who hear they have a short time to live usually decide not to undergo treatment. Of course we understood this. We are thankful he made the right decision as to how to inform us of her condition. She was in real bad shape and getting worse by the day. The good news. Her CA-125 cancer marker has dropped to 98 from the original 4519. This means the treatment is working and she probably won't need any more treatments. The doctor was shooting for anything under 100. We really think she needs one more treatment. We both would feel better if the marker would drop closer to a normal 0-35. We'll do whatever the doctor suggests. After chemo, she will probably have to use oral medication. To counter the nausea and being unable to eat, she is now going back for 3 hours today and Friday so they can pump fluids into her.
– January 28, 2009 – Rosie got her test results today. The CA-125 count went to 149 which is great news. Normal is 0-35. All her other blood tests are within range. She's getting there. Her next treatment will be February 3.
– January 24, 2009 – It's been 2 weeks since I last posted. As usual, Rosie has a rough time starting 2 days after chemo. Her weight dropped to 86 lbs. and she was in pain and feeling nauseous. Her weight loss is attributed to no eating and she couldn't even drink water. Then she starts getting better after about a week. Her weight went up to 92. She's actually feeling pretty good but that won't last. Her next treatment is February 3. That will be her 6th treatment. We understand that she can only have 8 treatments because of the kind of chemo she is undergoing. The PET and CAT scans showed spots still on the liver but the size of them has been reduced.
– January 10, 2009 – Pretty rough going the past few days. Rosie didn't know she was to undergo more chemo treatment when she had her last one on January 6. She started experiencing a lot of pain and nausea. It was finally determined what had cause this. She was supposed to take 5 pills 12 and another 5 pills 6 hours before treatment. Since she had no idea she was supposed to undergo another treatment, she didn't take the pills. As a matter of fact, she didn't have any. She only had enough for the initial 4 treatments. Anyway, things are under control. She still has the stomach pain but that should subside in a couple of days. Her CA-125 level has decreased from 255 to 221. That was actually disappointing for us but the doctor didn't seem to be concerned. He's absolutely confident that she will get through this and be with us for many years to come.
– January 6, 2009 – I don't have much time but just a brief update. Rosie has to undergo more chemo, maybe 2-3 more. Her blood test shows everything is good and her CA-125 level is dropping, but not to the desired level. Doctor is extremely optimistic that she will do just fine. I will post more later.
– January 1, 2009 – Rosie is gradually getting better since her last chemo. This one was a tough one. Tomorrow she has a PET and Cat Scan to determine if the chemo is doing it's job. She has an appointment on Tuesday to review the results. Maybe we'll even find out tomorrow. If so, I will post the results.
– December 21, 2008 – Rosie hasn't been doing so good after Tuesday's chemo treatment. Much like the rest of her treatments, she's had stomach and back pain. It appears to be subsiding now. We pretty much expected this would happen.
– December 17, 2008 – Rosie had her 4th and final chemo treatment yesterday. The CA-125 test showed her marker went down to 255. She has to have a CAT Scan to determine how good she is really doing. It will be known then if she needs more treatments. That should be within the next 2 weeks. All her other vitals are right where they should be. She is doing great. Much better than we had anticipated.
– December 6, 2008 – Rosie is doing pretty good. She was having back and stomach pains. She called the cancer center and they said it was probably the healing process. The aunt of a co-worker had cancer and her pains were attributed to the healing process. I suppose you could say that that's a good pain. She scheduled a MRI but probably will cancel it. She's doing better. If she decides to go ahead with it, I will post the results. Her decision would strictly be for peace of mind. Today we got rid of what hair was left. She actually looks pretty good without hair. We're twins, almost. In any case, I love her not matter what. As you can see, the posts are further apart. That's a good thing. Means everything is going good.
– December 1, 2008 – Rosie had her 3rd round of chemo on the 25th and also got her test results. All her important stats are within range and the cancer marker went down from 469 to somewhere around 330.
– November 19, 2008 – It's been a few days since the last post but we've had nothing to report. Rosie is doing excellent. She's eating everything in sight, has gained weight and the itching seems to be under control. Her next chemo is scheduled for Tuesday, November 25. Rosie and I would like to thank everyone who has sent cards, letters, food, phone calls, prayers, and have stopped by for a few minutes. Rosie even gets cards from people she doesn't know. It means the world to us that people really do care. Special thanks to our neighbors Brad, Theresa, Kristen and Kaleigh. You folks are awesome. They are always helping in every way and we just can't thank you enough. Ron and Marilyn are making Thanksgiving dinner and will be dropping it off on Thanksgiving. Thank you Ron and Marilyn. You both are really special. Rosie's sister Betty, comes over every week to do the ironing. She goes out of her way from Blue Springs and it's a big help. Rosie just doesn't have the stamina do it on her own. Thank you Betty. You are indeed a wonderful sister. Our heartfelt thanks to Paster Dewey for making those special visits to our home. Those prayers are really working. Hopefully we will be able to attend your services once Rosie is allowed to mingle in public.
– November 13, 2008 – Today was very interesting. Rosie said she didn't feel so good. She said her blood pressure was 180/108 and it felt like her heart was skipping a beat. She didn't have any chest pains. A few minutes later she ask me to call the paramedics. Within a few minutes (actually before I even hung up the phone), about a half dozen paramedics arrived. This was at 11:30 am. They hooked her up to an ekg and gave her oxygen. She started to feel better after given the oxygen but it was decided that she should go to the hospital just to be checked out. The hospital hooked her up and didn't find anything out of the ordinary. What we think happened was she possibly had a panic attack. She hasn't had a bad one for years. Anyway, she's home and I took a half day off work to watch over her. She seems to being doing much better now, especially after I gave her a warm bath.
– November 11, 2008 – Nothing new to report. Rosie seems to be doing good. Her breathing is better and she has a craving for pickles. What??? No way. Can't happen. She had her blood test and some readings were low but that was expected. She's really ticked off. Her appointment was at 11 am. She got in right away for her blood test and then waited over an hour to see the nurse practitioner. She was tired, didn't feel well and started to cry. That will not happen again. I wasn't there. The neighbor took her but if I was there, I would have made my thoughts well known. I don't sit still for that at any doctor's office. I wait 20-30 minutes and I get up and leave. My time is just as valuable as theirs. I kept my appointment so they should keep theirs.
– November 8, 2008 – Looks like it's back to the suffering stage. Rosie was doing good 2 days after her 2nd chemo but now her breathing is getting worse and she feels weak. Her appetite is still good and her itching seems to be subsiding. I suppose we can expect this after each chemo treatment. This will probably go on for the next 2 weeks and then she will start feeling better just before her next treatment. The hair is falling out at a faster rate.
– November 5, 2008 – ARE YOU READY FOR THIS???? When Rosie had her first test for cancer, the CA-125 cancer marker was over 4500. Normal is 0-35. She had her second treatment yesterday and before the treatment she had the CA-125 test done. We just got the results. The marker is at, are you ready for this?, 469. That's right, 469. That's not a typo. The doctor expected at least 1/2, but at 469? That's unbelievable and exciting. Her platelet count is well above range and all other numbers are staying normal. Tomorrow we expect her to start feeling under the weather because of the second round of treatment but then again, maybe she will feel fine since the chemo is already is in her system. We will just take it one day at a time and hope the breathing problems do not return. More hair has fallen out but all-in-all she's doing pretty good. Her weight is down to a whopping 92 pounds but she's eating everything in sight (well, not everything, but it seems like it). The doctor gave her some sleeping pills but the past few nights she's slept pretty good without them (unfortunately, not in bed with me------on the couch <sigh>). The folks at the Kansas City Cancer Center -----Thank you, thank you, for giving my wife a second chance. Our deepest gratitude to Dr. Sirridge, Debra, Dr. Jeremy Flanagan, Sue Ellen and everyone else at the cancer center. We are deeply indebted to all who has been and still are involved in my wife's treatment. Dr. Sirridge, you are awesome. GREAT NEWS! – November 1, 2008 – The past couple of days have been pretty good for Rosie. Her breathing has improved and she has definitely been eating more. She still has the rash and now her head is beginning to itch. We know why. Her hair is starting to fall out. Looks like we'll be cutting it off in the next day or so. Tonight we ordered her a wig and a couple of terry cloth turbans. Tuesday, November 4, is her next chemo treatment. I would at this time like to make a comment. Today I talked to someone and during the conversation I ask why they haven't called Rosie. She said she felt uncomfortable and didn't know what to say. I understand that. Please, don't anyone ever feel awkward when you think about calling Rosie. Talk to her like you would any other time. Talk about her cancer and ask any questions you like.
– October 28, 2008 – Rosie still has the breathing problem and now has developed a rash, which appears to be hives, from her neck on down. She complained the night before that her back was itching. I put some lotion on it because it looked like dry skin. This morning her stomach was covered with redness and got worse as the day progressed. We called the cancer clinic and was able to see her right away. They did another blood test and it came back with positive results. Everything looked fine. They don't have an explaination for her shortness of breath but perscribed Advair. She was also given a steriod called MethyIprednisolone for her rash. She has indicated that it hasn't got any worse since this afternoon. Other than that, she seems to be handling this quite well. She has been eating a lot better and also has frequent calls from Mother Nature (a good thing).
– October 26,2008 – Not a bad day. She is eating constantly and actually walked across the yard. She still gets out of breath but it appears the shortness of breath may be getting better. She weighted herself and is still at 93.5 pounds. Yesterday she had a headache but we may have found out why. One of the pills she stopped taking could have been the cause. She started taking it again. Believe it or not, it's a pill for getting rid of headaches. Maybe the chemo reverses the pills actual effect. She didn't have a headache today. We'll keep close watch and see how it goes.
– October 23, 2008 – Rosie went in for her labs today. One thing we found out was that she is anemic. The family doctor should have known that. There is no fluid in her lungs. She used to take a thyroid medicine and some other drug but stopped when she started radiation treatment. The doctor seems to think that this could also be contributing to her breathing troubles. Being anemic doesn't help. Altogether she seems to be doing just fine. She has good days and bad days. Her appetite is coming back. She weighed in at an astounding 93.5 pounds. Her next chemo treatment is November 4th.
– October 19, 2008 – Rosie is a lot better today. She actually ate a hot dog. In the evening she had a blt. She doesn't walk much because she gets out of breath and has to sit. I'm calling the doctor Monday about her lack of eating and her shortness of breath. The shortness of breath started when she received radiation treatments. – October 18, 2006 – Things aren't too good today. Rosie is feeling really tired her whole body aches. She really hasn't eaten anything for days. She's thrown up a couple of times but it contains nothing but bile.
– October 16, 2008 – Things seemed to be going extremely well and then Rosie developed a pain just below the heart. Doctor says it's heartburn associated with the chemo. She hardly got any sleep the night before. She has thrown up a few times but doesn't fell nauseated. I think I'm going to get a t-shirt that says "I Know". That's the response I get when I tell her she needs to be eating and moving around.
– October 14, 2008 – Okay. I hear everyone is on pins and needles waiting for me to post. Well, here it is. Today was chemo day. Rosie was there for slightly over 6 hours. We can expect this for the next 3 treatments. The doctor talked to us and she does have a tumor marker. It is the CA-125 which I mentioned on September 27. This means she had ovarian cancer. They wanted to make sure where the cancer was from before commiting to a treatment plan. The doctor is extremely confident that the treatments she will be receiving will effectively make the disease go into remission. She will be checked every 3 months after the final treatment for any reoccurence. In 2-3 weeks she may start losing her hair. If that happens, out come the clippers. Neither one of us want to pick up hair everyday. No, we don't need clippers. I still have the dog clippers when we had Molly :) At this time, she has no nausea or any side effects. She's doing much better than we both had anticipated. One bad thing, she's down to 97.5 meager pounds. My left leg weighs more than that. We appreciate all the phone calls, cards, food, and prayers. It definitely helps. Keep looking here for any information. Since she doesn't have any doctors visits for a couple of weeks, I probably won't be posting much but just in case, check here daily or email me if you have any questions (Rosie doesn't go on computer much).
– October 10, 2008 – We found out today that the chemo treatments will begin this coming Tuesday.
– October 9, 2008 – Sorry I'm late with the post. Had to go to work early because 1st shift guy took the day off. Today was Patty's last radiation treatment. We also had chemo orientation. What kind of chemotherapy drugs and what side effects we can expect. She will be getting 2 different cancer drugs, Taxol and Carboplatin. The cancer center will be contacting us for her first treatment which lasts between 4-6 hours. I'm sure it will be sometime next week. She will be getting 4 treatments over a period of 12 weeks once every 3 weeks. From now on I'm going to refer to Patty as Rosie. I've called her that for over 24 years. Hope some of you don't get confused. Tomorrow we don't have any doctor appointments or any other commitments.....Nice :).
– October 8, 2008 – Patty had the port installed in her chest. It's located just below the collar bone on the right side. Chemo, blood samples and anything else associated with testing or the administering of drugs can be done through this port. She has slight discomfort but no pain. We were at the hospital for almost 5 hours. We did have a slight scare while there. After surgery, the nurse gave her a cracker and she started to choke on it. Patty sat straight up in bed and couldn't breath. The nurse called for help while she tried to do the heimlich maneuver but no one came. I yelled outside the room "WOMAN CAN'T BREATH" and 2 other nurses came running. We think Patty was suffering from acid reflux because she complained earlier that she had a burning pain in the middle of chest. The doctor expressed just before the surgery that she might have acid reflux and that radiation may have also been the cause. She appears to be just fine right now. Very unsettling and scary. Tomorrow we go for chemo orientation. We should know then when chemo starts.
– October 7, 2008 – Nothing to report today. Tomorrow, Wednesday, she has the port intalled into her chest. Thursday is orientation. We'll know then when chemo starts and what to expect. I don't think anything will be posted tomorrow unless I post late in the evening, after 11 pm. The port will be put in around 1:00 pm and then I have to go to work.
– October 6, 2008 – Patty went for her radiation treatment today. Only 3 more treatments left. Her weight has dropped to 99 pounds. Not good because she's not eating. I realize I had previously said she was starting to eat but that changed over the weekend. Doctor couldn't stress enough that she has to eat and more so when chemo starts. I'm on her case all the time but I feel helpless because I can't do anything about it.
– October 2, 2008 – Patty had her 9th radiation treatment out of 14 on her spine today. The cancer is in her liver and bones, so this means she has progressed to stage 4. The clinic here is still working with the Mayo Clinic. Mayo can set an appointment for Tuesday, October 7, but we can't make that because she needs to finish her radiation treatments. The clinic here is confident that Mayo will approve of the treatment plan (meaning they would do the same treatment whether she did it here or at Mayo). Patty (Rosie) is in excellent spirits. She has no pain but does feel weak. She's starting to eat.
– October 1, 2008 – Here's what we found out. Several cancers have been ruled out and because it's so aggressive, they can't pinpoint where it started. The belief is that this is ovarian cancer and has been there for years. Untreated means she has 3-6 months. There is an 80% chance that with chemo, she will be around for years. The chemo needs to be started asap once her radiation treatments are done on October 9. That presents a problem. We can't get into Mayo Clinic until October 31 for a 2nd opinion. The cancer center here is contacting the Mayo to see if we can get in sooner. If we can't get a 2nd opinion and due to this cancer moving so fast, we may just go without it. Time is our enemy. The longer we wait, the more this deadly disease spreads. On October 8th, she has to have a port inserted into her chest. When chemo starts, she will have 1 treatment every 3 weeks for 3-4 treatments. Her doctor is confident that she will get excellent results from the chemo (80% is a pretty darn good chance). Now if I can just pound into her brain that she needs to eat more. She's down to 101. Sick or not, the doctor says it's imperative that she eats, especially when chemo starts. I'm on her case constantly and it's irritating her. I'll take her anger in stride because she's worth it. She's my life. Keep watching here for more info when we get it. At least we have some good news.
– September 30, 2008 – Patty had another radiation treatment on her spine. She's in good spirits and seems quite normal. Radiation treatment will resume until October 9th. I don't intend on updating every day. However, if there is anything to report, it will be posted here around 12:00 CST each day. That way, you won't have to come on every minute of the day to find out any news. Remember to refresh your browser each time you view this page.
– September 29, 2008 – Patty had her 6th radiation treatment on her spine today. Talked with one of the doctors and it appears she is responding to the treatment quite nicely. Her liver is enlarged and pushing against other organs. This apparently is due to the cancer. We have a meeting with the head oncologist on Wednesday and should know then what actually is going on and what treatment steps to take.
– September 27, 2008 – As most of you know, Patty is undergoing a rough time. Here is a little insite of how we got to where we are. A couple of weeks ago I took Patty to the emergency room for back pain. The diagnosis was a muscle spasm. A couple of days later I took her back to the emergency room with back pain. The diagnosis then was she has bowel trouble because she hadn't had a movement in a week. This isn't really an uncommon thing for Patty because she normally has 1 a week. Once she got cleaned out, she felt pretty good. A few days later, she started to complain about back and stomach pain and we went back to the hospital. This time, Patty insisted on a catscan of her stomach. Two radiologists read the results and found something they weren't looking for. There is a spot on the 12th thoracic vertibra and spots on her liver. We were told to seek immediate medical treatment. She had a blood test done and the results came back from the Mayo Clinic. I noticed on the sheet that one of the tests called CA-125 didn't look normal. The acceptable range for this test was 1-35. Patty's result was over 4500. I did a search on the web and typed in CA-125 and it came up with ovarian cancer. Patty had one of her ovaries removed back in the 80's. We contacted an oncologist and he immediately wanted her in the hospital. This doctor is 99% sure its cancer, his diagnosis obtained from the catscan and the CA-125 blood test. He also wanted to start radiation treatments on her spine to treat the cancer because it was real close to her spinal cord and if it got to that she could become paralyzed. I checked her into St. Lukes hospital which is about 2 minutes from us. While there, she underwent another catscan, MRI, blood tests, and liver biopsy. She was also supplied with pain pills and they wanted to give her anti-depressents but she refused them. She wasn't depressed. She just wanted to know what was wrong with her. After 3 days in the hospital, she was released and is now undergoing 14 radiation treatments on her spine. It's been over a week and we still don't have the lab results telling us what kind of cancer it is, where it has progressed and where it originated. I've talked to the doctor's nurse and she said the cancer is undeterminable because it keeps changing. They can't seem to pinpoint where it originated. However, I did have a question and got a response not to my liking. I asked her for a time table. What does she have, 6 months, a year, 10 years? Her response was a year is pushing it and six months may be a more accurate time. The cancer has metastasized and is moving fast. I'm not so sure about all of this because there are no final test results. We don't know why it's taking so long to get the test results. It also appears to us that they are holding something back. In 2 weeks she will be done with radiation treatments on her spine and I am making arrangements to take her to Mayo Clinic for a 2nd opinion. Mayo will call me back in 4 days with the information. Patty is a strong woman. She is my life, my friend, my lover, my soulmate. We will fight this. She has accepted this, I have not. Yes, I agree she has cancer, but how bad and how much of her body has been taken over - I question that. I can't see making an assumption without the facts. I will post anything new here when I get it. New posts will be dated and at the top of the page. |
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